Ronald McDonald's New Child Care Strategy

Everywhere, 30 April 2008. Ronald McDonald has launched a global campaign against children unsatisfied with their Kid's Meal Package. "Children need to learn who's boss. They cannot grow up thinking that costumer satisfaction is key to success. Studies have repeatedly shown that underachievement is often linked to unconformity and children cannot grow up just wanting more and more. We have decided to take action - children who don't like our food, or who think our toys are not fun or save, well, they need a good and hard hiding, like in the old days," a clown-faced spokesperson was quoted saying. According to Ronald McDonald, big business have to put their foot down in the current global financial crisis and show who's really running the show. Counter-strategies also include educational activities, such as the one shown in the picture above. "We would like to expand our educational strategy to areas such as making children work for their food, like they do in Africa, and then we would like to include women into our activities for gender sensitivity training. People need to know that each penny donated to the McDonalds charity reaches the target group hard and fast. Though there are still some legal issues we have to take a look at we expect our character building capacity to expand by about 18% this year, so we're really chuffed."